= Forgiveness =
Speaker: Pastor Tan
Date: 12 Jan '08
When you focus on negative things – bitterness, hurt, past experiences, you will destroy your spiritual life!
If we really want to Love, we must learn how to forgive
– Mother Teresa
5 myths about forgiveness:
1. you don't have to forgive until the offender ask for forgiveness.
2. when you forgive, you minimize the pain caused by the offense.
3. to forgive means to work to resume the relationship.
4. you have truly forgiven only when you have completely forgotten.
5. (forgot)
5 things about Real Forgiveness:
1. it is UNCONDITIONAL.
- and it must be your initiative.
2. it DOES NOT MINIMIZE the seriousness of the offense.
Prov 26:18~19
'Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,
'Is the man who deceives his neighbour, And says, “I was only joking!”'
like a murderer asking for forgiveness,
whether he's forgiven or not does not change the fact that he's caused harm.
3. it is NOT RESUMING A RELATIONSHIP without any change.
4. it is NOT FORGETTING.
- it's almost impossible to forget sth that has hurt you.
- instead of trying to forget and focus on the issue itself, focus on the positives.
5. it is NOT YOUR RIGHT IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO GOT HURT.
3 things before a relationship should be resumed:
A. there should be GENUINE REPENTANCE.
=> "I know what I did wrong and I'll change"
B. there must have been RESTITUTION
=> restoration of the damage
C. TRUST has to be REBUILT
3 reasons why we need to forgive:
it's difficult to forgive until we see the values in forgiving...
1. we forgive because God forgave us;
2. we forgive because bitterness destroys our lives; and
3. we forgive so that we will be forgiven.
*PERSONAL RENEWAL
= repair/replace something that's worn out
*LIFE is 10% situations and 90% your reactions.
Values:
you can't make a change until you see the values..
1. it is WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU
2. it is WHAT YOU STAND FOR
3. it is WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE FOR
Esau:
Heb 12:16~17
"lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.
"For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears."
Don't value according to circumstances:
- Value is transcendent to conditions.
4 steps to forgiving:
1. give up your rights to get even.
Rom 12:19
'Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.'
2. set boundaries
- not walls - set up walls with a gate
3. respond to evil with good
4. repeat those steps as long as necessary
* PRAY for the offender.
08-01-05 Pst Kong
Luke 11:34 (KJV)
"The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness."
Your eye is the point of vision; it is the place where visions are being captured everyday. When you are easily distracted, you become double minded!
Success is NOT hocus-pocus, it's all about FOCUS!
the Sun gives out much more energy than a LASER does..
but the LASER focuses its beam and it can cut diamond.
- the key lies in concentration
Jesus was sooo focused it could be seen on His face(mentioned 3 times!).
Luke 9:51~53
"Now it came to pass, when the time had come for Him to be received up, that He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem,
"and sent messengers before His face. And as they went, they entered a village of the Samaritans, to prepare for Him.
"But they did not receive Him, because His face was set for the journey to Jerusalem."Phil 3:13,14
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead"1Cor 9:26
"Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air."
To focus, we need to first PLAN:
Luke 14:28~31
"For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—
"lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,
"saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?
"Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?"God is our director and we have to be the script-writer of our own lives!
Pro 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 13:19
"A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul..."The NEXT F- FORGIVENESS sermon note will be uploaded very soon!
(Following 2 F's = FAITH & FORTITUDE)
E267! this sermon note is copied over from Andre Kamarudin's blog!
ENJOY!
last service of the year 2007 - with Pst Tan
*We need to make changes in order to grow.
E.g. repentance from sins transformed all our lives didn’t it...
*Re-pent (which is a change of mind)
= Re + pent
= back to a previous point + highest level
= back to the highest level of thinking
= getting to the level of God’s thinking
*Repentance -> Changes -> Growth
*Changes and Traditions are contradictory...
1. Decision
a. A decision gathers all your energy to one direction
b. It is about casting a judgment on an issue
c. After a decision there should be no room for double mindedness
2. Dedication
3. Discipline
a. Ideas -> DISCIPLINE -> accomplishments
b. Discipline is the gap between your IDEAS and your ACHIEVEMENTS...
To make changes requires FAITH and COURAGE~!
1. Pride
2. Fear
3. Rebellion
4. Laziness
5. Ignorance
*2 kinds of men don’t change:
fools won’t change;
dead can’t change...
LOL!
“When change is necessary, not to change is destructive.”
- Dr. AR Bernard
*We don’t have to change only when there’s a crisis,
but whenever wisdom calls!
Prov 1:20~24, 5
‘Wisdom calls aloud outside; She raises her voice in the open squares.
She cries out in the chief concourses, At the openings of the gates in the city
She speaks her words:
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning,
And fools hate knowledge.
Turn at my rebuke;
surely I will pour out my spirit on you;
I will make my words known to you.
Because I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded…’
“A wise man will hear and increase learning,
And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel…”
There’re only 4 types of people as mentioned:
1. Simpletons = the inexperienced / the novices
· My Sidetrack:
· Notice that “Novice” is spelled “NO-VICE”
· Simpletons know no vice but are not wise.
2. Fools = those reluctant to turn
3. Scorners = gatherings of fools in resentment
4. Wise men = those who turn at wisdom’s call
Either you lead changes or Changes will lead you in life!
And your ability to lead changes in life will determine your success in life.
taking pointers from Elizabeth; (Luke 1:24,39-41) we should :
A. Receive
B. Protect; and
C. Nurture
our dreams...